Love Divide

Firstly Wish U All a very Happy Diwali. Its been ages I’ve written something on the Blog. Oh my god, what a day I’ve choosen to write this thing , par kya karein control nahi hota……….

When I started seeing my boyfriend, the reaction from my friends and family was mixed. Some were none too impressed and some told me it would have no chance of working. I was even asked why I didn't go out with someone "normal". So what was wrong with my boyfriend? He's a Christian .. and I'm not.

Christian men? They're this, they are that….Sheenu r u crazy? How will you manage? Have you thought about it? There life style is different? Are you ready to make compromise? Being a girl tumhe bahoot saare adjustments karne padenge. I mean 1000’s of questions as if they are going to face all the troubles in the world and I’m the most stupid person in the world, and I committed the biggest mistake in the world.

I know that it is not a simple subject to think, talk and of course follow in life. I know its all good to think about love and making yourself happy but if that means making ur family and possibly ur kids in the future (cos families don’t accept them) unhappy, then is it really worth it? ur choice at the end of the day, it depends on how much u identify with your own culture, do u celebrate diwali or xmas? or not at all? and if u do it for ur partner, why if it doesnt mean anything to u?

I think if you find someone who makes you happy and you love them, does it really matter what race they are? I found a man of my dreams, who made me happy etc, I don’t care if he is Christian or he has something witch do not goes well with my lifestyle, culture or for that matter religion. !! Love is love after all!

I'm a Jain girl in a mixed religion relationship. My boyfriend and I are fully aware of the problems that will occur when our relationship is brought out into the open. so. Like many girls I try to keep my parents happy by following their wishes. Having an arranged marriage would keep them happy - but not me. I want to concentrate on what will make me happier in the long run rather than worrying about what other people think (such as relatives whose kids are out there doing something that their parents wouldn't approve of). If you've been in a relationship long enough with someone no matter what race or religion then you should make the right decision that will make you and keep you happy.

"Being with someone of a different religion broadens your perspective and teaches you how to compromise," A mixed religion relationship can be a success so long as the couple work at it. "Whether the relationship will survive long term depends upon the strength of feeling involved and the two people putting the effort in to making it work."

We all like to think of ourselves as liberal people and dismiss the issue of interreligious marriage by saying, "If they love each other, that's all that matters. As long as they are happy, we are happy." However, deep down inside, do we really feel that way? How does one truly feel about inter-religious relationships and marriages? Does "love make the world go 'round," or does religion, tradition and society?

When both of us talk on this issue, it really made me think, how concerned my parents will be on this issue? I know on first instance it would be difficult for them to accept like any other parents in the world. They’ll b hearbroken.

There are few things in my mind. Is it necessary kya that if you are marrying to the person with same religion and same cate you will be happy? Marriage doesn't come without challenges, even hardships-even when Jain marry Jain. But in such sensitive areas like relationships and marriage, I feel one does have to consider religion because how you are brought up and what you believe are important. When both of us really respect each other’s parents and each other’s religion how does it matter?

Why can't we think beyond all these social boundaries? who has made all these caste and why are we compelled to follow them. Every person has got the rights to do whatever he/ she likes provided it is not hurting anyone else. If both the guy and gal are keen to marry despite the fact that they do not belong to the same caste, I think no one has got the right to stop them.

I agree, Marriage within or without community needs adjustments and onus is not only on marrying couple but also their families. A marriage within community has more support from family but not so much when a couple are from different communities hence the problems for such couple is family and society created hence it is not a natural difficulty, it is an obstacle created by ego. As long as two can or could give birth to an off spring then it is valid and natural marriage.

What would you say if couple from same community cannot get along? But as soon as a couple of different communities start facing problem then family and society jumps to the occasion and start blaming 'the differing community issue' being the cause for discontent and make even the couple feel the same because it is in a way victory to the opposing families and prejudice ridden society. Life is too beautiful to waste on stupid ego battles, society generated meaningless insecurities and mental obstacles. Take the plunge and do what you feel is correct and not as per societies' prejudice. And once you marry the correct person as per you then don't ditch her or him.

On this public forum I accept Dear that our life is a tough call, but we’ll make the things happen and will break the ice.

We are knowing each other better each day. That is because we think alike and we respect each others feelings and concerns. That’s coz we really hate hurting each other's feeling. That's coz we love each other the most.

What’s your call Jaan?
Love,
Sheen