Long Distance Relationships

Challenging and difficult, though they may not be what we want to hear, are the words that best describe long distance relationships. I heard many people say distance matters, and long distance relationships never work………Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love this is what I do believe.. Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart! a real advice sourced from various sources.

You'd have to be a serious commitment-phobe to choose to live hundreds -- or even thousands -- of miles away from the man you love. But sometimes it's just not up to you. Career, studies and family are just a few of the factors that keep lovers whispering sweet nothings into phones instead of each other's ears. For girls, specially girls life is far more different as they crib on any small matter, they are highly emotional, completely impractical according to other sex…man………its so unearthy and if the boys by any chance cribs they will go gag a.. and all roothna manana affairs may or may not start.. in short life become all the more complicated….

I, like others, truly believe that love & relationships are what make our life special, and that ones built on love & understanding are always worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate two people. It's not simple, but it's not impossible -- and these five tips can help:

1. Be clear about expectations up front: - Don't wing plan ahead……………but boys don't love it in a planned fashion, that's another issue
   
2. Express yourself: Power of touch is completely out of the relationship.. its difficult to stay connected, so I believe couple has to figure out how can they keep the partner cherished. Share the day to day events going on in each other lives.
   
3. Enjoy your independence: this is again a problem.. b'coz most the guys think their girlfriends are invading into their private space. and bla bla. I feel girls never do so, they always allow them to grow as an individual, but expect them to committed in the relationship.
   
4. Keep the faith:
   Yes, it's rough being apart, but harping on the negative can take a toll on the relationship. I feel, "Instead of moaning that you never see each other, talk about the interesting things you've been doing and ask what he's up to." This will help in two ways: He won't think you're obsessed with the relationship, and you won't be obsessed. The happier you act with your life, the happier you'll actually feel.
   
5. Spice up the long distance lovin: based on mutual desires
   

This is also often assumed according to guys that girls have egos larger than life, they say you anything, they laugh at your stupid jokes but never try to understand your deep commitment, your sacrifices and amount of understanding you do not show off, but you do have. Girls take care of these issues and your life will be beautiful like a flower. Its easy for girls to accept their mistakes, but believe me for boys it's a larger than life issue, it go to their nerves to accept it and rectify it…..girls beware you have to bear the same as well.

Even after the commitment and continuous promise you can expect no time, quite often irresponsible behavior, forgetting things, doing often what you don't like or what you asked not to do. And many such small stuff in quoted language….but but………………even after that he loves you like anything and you believes him. It is a true love and do not in any way try to spoil it…………Accept it and change yourself…………

Indeed, couples in LDRs report the same levels of intimacy, trust, commitment and satisfaction as geographically close couples." It's confirmed: Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I hope the other person understands the same.

I am not a relationship counselor. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist of any kind. My advice comes from my own experience and the shared experiences of my friends. It's basic. Common sense, really. You just have to recognize when your rational side is on vacation because your heart is involved. Somehow even the smartest people fall victim to the paranoia brought about when you put yourself, and your heart, on the line.

Your views invited.

 

Love,

Dr. Cutie PieJ

The Rain

HAVE YOU EVER FELT THE RAIN

TO SOME IT BRINGS JOY AND PLEASURE



TO OTHERS IT BRINGS ONLY PAIN

OVER THE HILL I WATCHED IT COME



I HAD A MY CHOICE

I COULD HAVE TURNED AND RUN



I FELT IT FALL ALL OVER ME

FOR THAT WHILE IT WAS EVERY THING



I HOPE'D IT WOULD BE

UNTIL ALL AT ONCE IT STOPPED



IT LEFT ME DUMB FOUNDED

AND ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED



I HAD NEVER FELT SO MUCH JOY

NOR HAVE I FELT SO MUCH PAIN



NOW AT THE END OF EVERY DAY

IM WISHING WANTING AND WAITING FOR THE RAIN.

Dr. Cutie Pie J

SO WHAT IF YOU’RE HEARTBROKEN?

Suffering brings renunciation, an important quality for spiritual growth

 

Look at the trials of your life with a spiritual approach: until your heart has been broken to the things of this materialistic world, you can't open your heart into the higher world.

Now, you shouldn't feel compelled to go out and try to get your heart broken or seek after trials and disasters so you can grow from them. Don't worry; the world is very good at creating just the right challenges for you!

Yet, isn't it amazing how even the most intensely difficult things in your life somehow fall just the threshold of bearable! You may sometimes think your troubles are unbearable, but most likely; you come to a time when things get better. Everyone goes through these ups and downs of life, although the outward details and intensities change from person to person.

For one person, small inconveniences cause more distress than major disasters do for another. Some people get more upset about a bad hair – tinting job than people who are dealing with devastating tragedies. Pain and suffering are relative. How life's challenges affects you depends on your understanding, state of mind, and previous experience; it also depends on the arms of divine beneficence that come to carry you above the hottest sands.

Seeing troubles with a positive eye, you must likely enjoy a pleasant life as much as anyone else. Moreover even knowing the value of life's challenges, you still don't go around looking for trouble. You might say that you choose your challenges, or that God chooses them carefully for you so that your mind and limited self – concepts are shaken just enough – but not too much – and with rests in between.

Suffering teaches you compassion. It inspires you to contemplate and reconsider your thoughts and actions. It brings renunciation, and renunciation is an important quality for spiritual growth.

Times of suffering and difficulty can actually lead you into a greater experience of the world. Dark nights of the soul can bring greater meaning and depth of spirit to your life and give you more appreciation and gratitude for all you have. Many people have awakened to religion, spirituality and the presence of the Supreme Being or the first time after going through traumatic events. For this reason, suffering can be one of the most potent forces for spiritual transformation and awakening.

This doesn't mean that you should court difficulties or become a martyr – looking for more suffering so you can grow from it. Nor is it a call for you to just suffer and suffer without making efforts to heal the problems in your life. In fact, with spiritual awareness, you can change uncomfortable outer circumstances – not only on a materialistic level but also by combining the power of your mind with spiritual practices, good actions and higher intentions.

The key to transforming trials into transcendence is to realize that everything that comes to you is your destiny, an opportunity to tap into a greater awareness.

Life always brings challenges to deal with. Struggle and strife have come as standard accessories with package deal of this cruise. When those difficult moments come, you have a choice, instead of being swept away into an emotional flurry or numb depression; you can see such times with some objectivity.

Then, even if part of you goes into some agitation or sadness here or there, you can still be aware of part of you that's witnessing all the play of your life – the still point of the turning world that exists inside of you. From that place, you can remind yourself that after every storm, there is a chance to awaken into a new golden sky and find new colorful rainbows to delight your heart, nourish your soul, and rouse your spirit.

 

 

                                    Dr. Cutie pie J

 

 

Be What You Want To Be

We can actually choose our thoughts. The power of the choice is the greatest gift of life.

 

I believe that one of the most powerful moments in my life was the moment I realized that I had a choice! Not only do I have the power to choose my actions, but I also have the power to choose my thoughts and my moods. Nobody can make me angry. I'm the one who choose to have the experience of anger. When an upsetting event occurs, I select my response. Will it be anger and irritation, or will it be acceptance or forgiveness?

 

Have you felt at times that others have hurt your feelings? Actually, they have not done anything to you. They are simply acting in the way they choose to act. You are the one who chooses to react with hurt, anger or whatever other e-motion (energy in motion) you choose.

 

When I find myself feeling down, I know this is also my choice. I know I can make the conscious decision to change my feelings and then I will experience joy and well – being. I can simply accept what is in my environment (things are what they are) and change my attitude. If I prefer blue skies to grey, I can choose to feel grumpy about the weather; or I can choose to enjoy the day whatever the weather is. If a close friend or relative lives the body, I can choose to feel sorrow for myself, or to feel happiness for them as they go on to another realm of experience.

 

We can choose our thoughts - in the same way as we choose what we eat. We are conscious of choosing the food we eat, yet sometimes it seems like they choose us. The detectable aroma draws us and we feel we can't resist it. Yet, we do choose to indulge or to pass. If you are overweight/ underweight, it is good to acknowledge that you are so through your own decisions of what and when to eat. If you are without employment, that also is your creation (conscious or not). If you are a smoker/drinker that too is your choice.

 

Ah…..I hear cries of 'but wait a minute, smoking is an addiction", yes, this is true, but many have chosen to 'beat' addictions….. and some of us do not. We might say we can't, yet the truth is that we choose not to.

 

I have a weakness for ice cream. I have been heard to say that I won't buy ice cream, because if I do, then I can't resist eating it. Now, of course that's a lie. Of course can resist…..I just choose not to. For some reason the appeal of the ice cream is stronger than my desire to not eat it…so I eat it.

 

And I believe that is the case with many of our weaknesses, addictions, choices…..We do have the strength to choose otherwise, but, for whatever reason, the pay - off of doing the thing is greater than the pay – off for not doing it.

 

If ice cream gives me personal satisfaction (I have fond memories of my grandmother always having my favorite flavor whenever we visited), then the pay – off or satisfaction I get from eating ice cream is greater than the desire to not eat dairy products. If we look honestly at our 'addictions', we see that the pay – off is greater than the reason to not indulge.

 

Does this make us wrong? Does this mean we make a wrong choice? No, it simply means that we make a choice…….for whatever reason. Perhaps, we would be well served to examine our motivations for doing something, and then get clear as to why we really choose to smoke, or overeat, or not be good to ourselves.

 

Once we get clear on "what we get out of it" then we may find more healthy and supportive ways to get that result without the addictive behavior. If, where I eat ice cream, I am subliminally telling myself I love myself (since I associate ice cream with my grandmother's love), then perhaps I could find other ways to be loving to myself…..Since eating dairy products is not on my preferred diet choice, there are other things I could choose to do to attain the same result (feeling loved).

 

We are the creators of our own experience. We can alter our own experiences by making different choices. Sometimes, we might choose to be overwhelmed, because we get something out of it….Do we get to feel sorry for ourselves? Or perhaps we get to complain to our friends and co-workers and have them give us love and support. Perhaps, getting ourselves in a situation of overwhelm (or illness) gives us the opportunity to take a day (or week) off from the hustle and bustle of our daily life.

 

Whenever you are experiencing something that you feel is not a 'positive' situation for you, ask yourself how and why you are choosing this. Now, please, this is not a suggestion to be clear on what you "really" want, and find how to get it.

 

Sounds easy? Not always. We all have experienced those times when our emotions get the better of us. It is definitely an ongoing process to watch our feelings, our thoughts and make the choice of what we want to feel. All I can suggest is for you to remember that you always have a choice. You are never a victim unless you choose to be!

 

A friend with whom I shared this information felt so happy, that he called up to say: it worked! He had been feeling depressed when he remembered that it was his choice in other words, he somehow wanted to feel depressed.

 

So, he made the choice to feel thankful for being alive, and instantly, his mood changed. He had chosen happiness and thankfulness for life. So can you………………

 

 

 

Want to be a good boss? Ask your dad!

Surveys have repeatedly proven that one of the biggest reasons for people leaving an organisation is their boss. To be an ideal leader or a boss is an eternal challenge.In our own homes, the role of a father has been well-defined . He is full of love and concern. At the same time, he is also a strict disciplinarian. But whatever the case, a father will never abandon his children. Here are some tips for you to adopt with your subordinates in order to become a good boss:

Understand them -

Always remember that an employee is not just a money-generating machine. They have a life outside the office. They have a family, a friend circle and also various interests and hobbies. It is important to understand them as a ‘total’ personality. Once you understand their expectations, it will become easy to manage those expectations. Only then will you be able to tune into your employees.

Take time to educate them -

No good parent will ever expect a child to work and make money for them from day one. Similar is the case with your employees. They have to be educated, instructed and prepared before they can meet bigger challenges. Even you have to be a part of their training and development. No doubt, they will make mistakes and, just like children fall when they try to walk, so will employees in the course of their duty. But with support and self confidence, they will one day run faster than you!

Discipline with love -

The greatest challenge for any parent is to know the balance between discipline and love. The solution is love with discipline and discipline with love. An area has to be demarcated - a frame-work has to introduced, going beyond which can prove dangerous to everyone. Subordinates, like children, are full of energy and enthusiasm. It is important to encourage their creativity. But it is equally important to give a direction to their work. Discipline, coupled with love, is the answer.

Finally, whatever you do, remember that no classroom teaching or lecturing can achieve what one learns from direct experience. Therefore, in your own maturity, understand that inspite of the best efforts; the employee may still make the same mistakes that you did. Accept it with love and grace.There is a beautiful phrase I am reminded of: “A man learns that his father was right when his son tells him that he is wrong!” May be you will need to remember this when dealing with your employees.

Source - EconomicTimes

Love,

Dr. Cutie Pie :)

Woh.............

Woh.......

Yeh lijiye, I just thought of him..... or kuch ajeeb si sounds like woooooo sunai dene lagi...he just changed my life completely. Last 6 months journey was amazing.

Ab mai kaha se shooroo karoo.....aisa lag raha hai jaise woh kahi mere aas pass hai......Mai kabhi ooske samne ooski tareef nahi karti.........par yuki kal ek special day hai..N I want to give something special.. I thought what better I can do than writting here in public forum.

He amaze me like anything. He accept me as I'm. He is very spontaneous. He believes in himself. He is very much considerate. He has a very warm healing power, which akes all my pain away. He always has a new ways of expressing his love to me.He do flirting with me for fun and fivolity.

When he gaze into my eyes, I can hear everything without the words. He is always happy and smiling and a real fun loving guy, who makes everyone laugh all the time , but also do not forgetthat he pulls the leg as well.

I love his quick pecks on cheek, which makes me forget everything in d world. He loves me with all his heart and soul, He is like an apple, very sweet from inside, and ofcouse useful from outside.

He massage away my day's tension and stress in a moment. He has some magic which keeps me binded. He knows how to spoil me, How to tease me, Kaise mujhe daatna hai, kaise mujhe samjhana hai..He notices everything which makes me happy and delivers each of them.

He uncovers his deepest feelings with me. He let me know his emotions and he understands me so well. He is very lazy but for me he can do any thing. Jitne sacrifice oosne mere liye kiye hai, mai shayad kabhi ooske liye nahi kar paoongi.

He knows my inner child. Kabhi mujh se ek samajhdar mature insaan ki tarah baat karta hai, to kabhi ek perfct lover. His mood swings like my nature. He has given me one of the wonderful moments of my life in last few months.

Mai jitna oose samajhne ki koshish karti hoon, ootni hi oolajhti jati hoon. HE has layers and layers hidden inside me. I can never imagine anyone like him in my life. I just can't believe koi kisi se itna pyar kaise kar sakta hai. I wish I can give him what all he dreamt in life. I expect a lot from him, and he .. he truly loves me.. he never expects anything from me, that's why he is always happy in our relationship. He really made me understood what is true love .

How nice. How very romantic … except roses aren’t always red, sometimes they’re pink or orange or white. And violets are purple, not blue. Sugar may be sweet, but there are plenty of times we don’t act that way we should do. I'm sorry Jaan....But I love you from the bottom of my heart. I promise I won't break your heart anymore.

I hope he'll read my blog tomorrow and he'll forgive me 4 all the pain I cause to him.

All my readers - Will you all pray for us ? Please wish for us, that God may bring us together.

I wish all the girls in the world get a boyfriend like him. I'm proud of you dear.

Thought for the day: When you take the expectation out of a relationship, you make room for romance.

Love,
Dr. Cutiepie :)

Love Divide

Firstly Wish U All a very Happy Diwali. Its been ages I’ve written something on the Blog. Oh my god, what a day I’ve choosen to write this thing , par kya karein control nahi hota……….

When I started seeing my boyfriend, the reaction from my friends and family was mixed. Some were none too impressed and some told me it would have no chance of working. I was even asked why I didn't go out with someone "normal". So what was wrong with my boyfriend? He's a Christian .. and I'm not.

Christian men? They're this, they are that….Sheenu r u crazy? How will you manage? Have you thought about it? There life style is different? Are you ready to make compromise? Being a girl tumhe bahoot saare adjustments karne padenge. I mean 1000’s of questions as if they are going to face all the troubles in the world and I’m the most stupid person in the world, and I committed the biggest mistake in the world.

I know that it is not a simple subject to think, talk and of course follow in life. I know its all good to think about love and making yourself happy but if that means making ur family and possibly ur kids in the future (cos families don’t accept them) unhappy, then is it really worth it? ur choice at the end of the day, it depends on how much u identify with your own culture, do u celebrate diwali or xmas? or not at all? and if u do it for ur partner, why if it doesnt mean anything to u?

I think if you find someone who makes you happy and you love them, does it really matter what race they are? I found a man of my dreams, who made me happy etc, I don’t care if he is Christian or he has something witch do not goes well with my lifestyle, culture or for that matter religion. !! Love is love after all!

I'm a Jain girl in a mixed religion relationship. My boyfriend and I are fully aware of the problems that will occur when our relationship is brought out into the open. so. Like many girls I try to keep my parents happy by following their wishes. Having an arranged marriage would keep them happy - but not me. I want to concentrate on what will make me happier in the long run rather than worrying about what other people think (such as relatives whose kids are out there doing something that their parents wouldn't approve of). If you've been in a relationship long enough with someone no matter what race or religion then you should make the right decision that will make you and keep you happy.

"Being with someone of a different religion broadens your perspective and teaches you how to compromise," A mixed religion relationship can be a success so long as the couple work at it. "Whether the relationship will survive long term depends upon the strength of feeling involved and the two people putting the effort in to making it work."

We all like to think of ourselves as liberal people and dismiss the issue of interreligious marriage by saying, "If they love each other, that's all that matters. As long as they are happy, we are happy." However, deep down inside, do we really feel that way? How does one truly feel about inter-religious relationships and marriages? Does "love make the world go 'round," or does religion, tradition and society?

When both of us talk on this issue, it really made me think, how concerned my parents will be on this issue? I know on first instance it would be difficult for them to accept like any other parents in the world. They’ll b hearbroken.

There are few things in my mind. Is it necessary kya that if you are marrying to the person with same religion and same cate you will be happy? Marriage doesn't come without challenges, even hardships-even when Jain marry Jain. But in such sensitive areas like relationships and marriage, I feel one does have to consider religion because how you are brought up and what you believe are important. When both of us really respect each other’s parents and each other’s religion how does it matter?

Why can't we think beyond all these social boundaries? who has made all these caste and why are we compelled to follow them. Every person has got the rights to do whatever he/ she likes provided it is not hurting anyone else. If both the guy and gal are keen to marry despite the fact that they do not belong to the same caste, I think no one has got the right to stop them.

I agree, Marriage within or without community needs adjustments and onus is not only on marrying couple but also their families. A marriage within community has more support from family but not so much when a couple are from different communities hence the problems for such couple is family and society created hence it is not a natural difficulty, it is an obstacle created by ego. As long as two can or could give birth to an off spring then it is valid and natural marriage.

What would you say if couple from same community cannot get along? But as soon as a couple of different communities start facing problem then family and society jumps to the occasion and start blaming 'the differing community issue' being the cause for discontent and make even the couple feel the same because it is in a way victory to the opposing families and prejudice ridden society. Life is too beautiful to waste on stupid ego battles, society generated meaningless insecurities and mental obstacles. Take the plunge and do what you feel is correct and not as per societies' prejudice. And once you marry the correct person as per you then don't ditch her or him.

On this public forum I accept Dear that our life is a tough call, but we’ll make the things happen and will break the ice.

We are knowing each other better each day. That is because we think alike and we respect each others feelings and concerns. That’s coz we really hate hurting each other's feeling. That's coz we love each other the most.

What’s your call Jaan?
Love,
Sheen

My Dad !

Me Missing you Dad so much today. Raat ke 3 baje woh chat pe bitaye 2 ghante aap ke saath bahoot yaad aa rahe hai. I wish aap abhi mere saath yaha hote. Dad can you hear my aawaaz ! Woh kitni acchi tarah jante hai mujhe....I'm eagerly waiting 4 meeting you again.. Holidays kab aayenge ??????

“Do you want to talk?” he asked when he sat next to me. I think he already knew the answer to the question and wasn’t surprised when I chose to say nothing at all. For hours we sat together waiting for rising d sun as our thoughts shifted with the breeze. Every once in a while he would look over at me and smile in a way that let me know everything would be all right. Every once in a while I would look over at him and see nothing but sincerity.

If you asked me now why I was sad and alone that day, I couldn’t tell you. All I can remember is my father’s hand on my shoulder, his gentle smile, and the calm reassurance that turned away my fears. No matter what happened I knew he would be always there for me just as he was then. Two hours of his time gave me wisdom beyond my years and the joy of his compassion in everything he does for me is one of the few that will never ever fade.

I Love U Dad ! I love You So much.........

:) Aaapki Sheenu

What a Fate !

Someone beckoned me one day

It was my Pen

I looked at it for a sec

Failing to recognize it

It has been so long that I had used it

After the mouse entered my life

It is just clicks and tabs I had seriously forgotten

The thrill of pages getting filled with words

Of the Ink romancing the Pen

I tried writing…

But my fingers failed to lend me support

Making my handwriting look distorted and alien

Nostalgia seeped in…

I had adored the pen so much

The first day I got it

And now it seemed to be asking me

Was I worth only this?

I looked at it and smiled sadly

Sad at the thought of its fate

Yet happy at the thought of some joyful memories-

Memories of the time

When the pen was my best friend

Through whom I would pour my heart out

In any paper that I would find

At least I have these memories

For who knows?

The future generation

May just not know what a pen is!!!

When I Fall in Love

When I fall in love,

I want to be with him always;

In happiness,to smile with him ,

and be the one to hug him near.

In sadness,to cry with him ,

and be the one to dry his unseen tears.

When I fall in love,

I will spend my every waking

and sleeping moments with him

and catch each moment

in its eternally lovely form.

When I fall in love,

I will miss him the very moment

I say 'goodbye'

and my heart will yearn

for the very moment I say ‘hello'.

When I fall in love,

all my old hurts and pains

will seem lost and faded away

and I will be strong and brave once again.

When I fall in love,

I want him to be happy always,

ever and feel like the happiest person of them all . . .

Because that's what I'm gonna feel,

when I'll fall in love with him.

:) Dr. Cutie Pie